Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Life Update....Acceptance

This weekend we spent Saturday toodling around town. First we went to a toy store that is downtown. It has a BIG Groovy Girl in the window. They sell lots of Groovy Girl stuff...clothing, furniture and so on. Daddy bought me an outfit for my Groovy Girls. It is a purple ballerina outfit that even has purple satin ballerina slippers. It is very pretty!

After that we went to our favorite local new agey shop. We spent quite a long time in there looking around....reading and looking at everything.

Next on the agenda was a drive. I had written Master an email discussing the up coming year. It is our 2 year anniversary coming up so I was doing kind of a reflection and looking forward email. So while driving around we discussed the email.

A common theme in my journal (offline and online) is acceptance. A couple of weeks ago I had a light bulb moment. I realized I have been in a new level of acceptance for a while. I tried to think back when it clicked into place but it has been so long that I could not think of the exact time. It is common for me to work on something internally under the surface processing without being totally aware of it.

So I had this light bulb moment that I have been in a new level of acceptance in our M/s dynamic and that brought on another light bulb moment of why...why did I finally have this level of acceptance.

Something that had been really holding me back from acceptance and enjoying life as it is right now was the fact that I was hanging on to the month I came out here to stay/visit with Master before moving here. Looking back I can see that it was probably our "honeymoon" period and it was when we were flying high. And when I moved here of course we came down and life set in place...ebbing and flowing as it does. And for some reason I could not get that until recently that hanging on to that month was holding me back.

I have finally got that we have something different right now and you know what...I like it. I like our lives. We have a nice life together. Our M/s dynamic is firmly in place and we have such a strong faith in each other and our relationship.

I look forward to our third year together...and many more I hope.

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