danae

Well, not even sure where to begin......

Illusions.....

A few weeks ago I had tarot reading by SJ and it talked LOTS of illusions. That there was an illusion in my life. It is hard to be told one thing and have something else happen. That is why is why He was an illusion.

Changes....

I am going to change how I address people in this blogger. Sir will stay Sir *soft smile* Daddy is now going to be Kam. And that will be a hard one for him. And Aslan will now be Todd.

What do people look for....

Acceptance...

I think we all want to be accepted for who we are no matter what we do or what our deepest darks thoughts are of....

Meet Joe Black is a movie that comes back to me OFTEN! I saw it the first weekend Honey and I met each other. It has played a big part in how I define love since that day. The brother in law tells Joe that he knew the sister loved him because she accepted everything about him. He was the wheeler dealer type and seemed to always be that way but she accepted him...loved him for who he was always.

I am so many things......

All are a part of me. The pain and darkness in me is a part of me. The parts that feel I need D/s in my life ALWAYS (at varying levels - protocols) is a part of me. The part that wants to be touched, held, to be pampered are a part of me. (those parts are harder for me to deal with then the pain, darkness and D/s.)

I want someone to be there for me when I cry. And when I am happy and when I am sad. When I am pmsing lol and when I am flying on top of the world.

I want someone who wants to give me guidance and structure. I want someone who is strong.

I could go on and on with what I want....

Let me talk about this week...

Saturday Kam and I went to do work stuff and then cleaned my car out. It needed it. It had cali hair in it still....miss my puppy.

WOW going off topic for a moment!!!

I have goose bumps...lol....

Sir just told me he had a question and then said no it is not a question.....and just how he worded it I could tell an order was coming.....

Sir: you are allowed to blush and cover your face now

I know that rule bothered Sir. He found it enduring me covering my face. And Todd told me not to do it...because well his reason was that I had too pretty of face to cover.

Okay back to play by play of week...

Saturday....We then had lunch with Di and I told her some dreams I had. Which ended up causing a big fight/miscommunication between Todd and I. And basically he ended things and then about 3 hours later we were back together. *shrugs* Pushed and pulled and confused......daily with him.

Then went to pick up Honey :)

Sunday
Brunch and shopping!!!!

Monday
Work and then dinner with Sir. I wanted Honey to meet him. They had fun flirting with each other :)

Tuesday
We went to Gabe's bought Kam clothing that he needed a lot. Resisted the urge to buy Todd clothing too. Got a fake leather skirt for $4 :) Then Honey and I did something I had been meaning to do for a while. And then we got Kam from work and went to meet someone who did not show.

Wednesday
oh joy...lol

I invited Todd and Di to go out with Honey and I so they could meet her. It was important to me. And I felt Todd was going to blow me off. Di got there and I had a margarita and then had a few more. We called Sir and asked him to join us (thinking Todd was not going too). And well both ended up being there but it was a good thing. Lots of things happened that I needed to happen.

I am glad I had Honey here this week.

Thursday
Todd told me he just wants to be friends.

And now soon..in 5 mins it is a new day.

Have not cried over him yet. Not sure I will....

peace,
danae