A Few More Things

Music: a mix of sixpence, tori amos, vanassa carlton, michelle branch and innocence mission

Topics: This weekend, Dominant=Responsibility, Playing.....and maybe a few more things....

Well, this weekend was really good. I saw some very special things go on that I am sure others were not even aware of....and it was so beautiful and intense.

I do have to say there are other things that got on my nerves, but oh well lol Life goes on ya know? lol And the over all experience for the weekend is something I will not forget for a very long time. Goddess Lakshimi is up there with the best of the best.

The main message that Lakshimi seemed to emphasis all weekend long is that Dominant=Responsibility. And I can't tell you how much that just made me so happy to hear. Being a Dominant when it is easy and fun is not D/s. That is being a wannabe or the other countless name we as a community gave them at one of her discussions on Saturday. (The example I gave was the “Can you feel my presence Dominant” *grin*)

These are my opinions but I think many submissives are enhancing their Master's lives but where is there Dominant enhancing the submissive's? I mean it is a Power EXCHANGE!

As I think I already wrote I have seen so many Dominants leave their submissive when a crisis hits the submissive's life, or the Dominant only comes around when it is convenient for them and they want something such as to play or have a sexual need fulfilled. And Lakshimi although VERY Dominant and wants what she wants when she wants it - she associates Dominant with responsibility. Dominant = Responsibility. And I know many Dominants that say they know this but I really can only think of like a handful in this community that get that and more importantly *live* it. Lisa's husband is one of them. And the others I will let them wonder who they are :)

I know that people probably look at Lisa and her husband as very vanilla but they are more D/s then most of the couples I know in the lifestyle.

Notice I said D/s not BDSM also. D/s to me is the mental and emotional bond that forms between a Dominant and submissive. It is the day in and day out serving. It is the day in and day out Dominance and submission that is just there but most vanilla people would not see it. BDSM to me is the kinky fun stuff - the bondage, flogging, caning, and so on.

Next topic…I sometimes don't talk about relationships that are starting or going on with me because it feels like at times it can jinx them lol There have been people I write about and then shortly after writing about them something happens where we are not able to keep the relationship going how it was previously.

Anyway, so I state this with great trepidation......

There is someone I have been talking to.....about playing with here in Cleveland. Okay, I said it and I am still alive... lets see what happens now lol

The thing about this Dominant is he plays I think as hard as I play. He, I think, will equal getting into my mind as someone else did in my life and play as hard as the Sadist did. But the difference between him and the Sadist though this man seems to "want" to get to know me and get in my head like Kevin did (there said that name...that I have not said in a long time). I truly felt like just a "thing" with the Sadist. And to make “it” even go deeper....that thing that I need to feel will only be unlocked if you get in my head by getting to know *me*. So, this could get tricky.......*IF* it happens. :)

Another problem, I am having is that most people who contact me about playing, I just feel blah with....I mentioned this to Monseigneur E just the other day. I want to play....I mean I have not played since Sept. 4th.....and I am a masochist and a painslut.....so you know that is a long time for me. But part of me wants the other stuff....the D/s things so much that the playing does not even sound fun. Yes, me saying BDSM does not sound fun lol The other thing is I want the D/s and the BDSM from Nick so much that playing with anyone else just sounds like boring. There are really only 2 other people that it does not sound blah with and this person I talked about above it does not - but I am holding back with him. And he has called me out on that. I don't know why I am holding back though. The other person I don't feel blah about is Monseigneur E but if I was there.....I would be SO scared lol I know what he is capable of.....and that is very scary for me not on just a BDSM level. He would hit lots of other levels and that frightens me lol

I am going to stop babbling..........for now lol

Thinking of one of my many favorite quotes.....

"Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." ~ Hermann Witt