Friday night update

Music: Sixpence

Topics: Friday night update

Okay, well, I have been home for hours and I am still hyper.

Tonight, I went to a submissive meeting that was just so amazing. Carpe Diem is having Goddess Lakshimi talk this weekend. She came a night early to talk a group of submissives. It was truly amazing. She is so real. She gets that it is "relationship" - that is not about one person or the other but both. Anyway, strange as this may sound she gave me hope. I mean Nick is a very much like that also - now - here online and the phone. I believe he is going to be like that in person to but in person all things are different. But anyway, she gave me hope in Dominants and in D/s. I have been so frustrated with Dominants and the lifestyle. There are only a handful of Dominants that I truly respect and admire and she has now been added to that list.

I am very much a person that at times I can jump into a discussion because they have been thoughts that have been formulated and thought out long ago but if they are new to me…I don't comment. I just sit and absorb. And a lot of what Goddess Lakshimi talked about tonight was like that. Yes, it was all just real everyday relationship stuff. But maybe that is why it took time to absorb. I mean I have talked about that relationship stuff is important, but maybe I have felt all this time that I was just talking to air about it. That no one got it and to really sit there and absorb and know that someone got it. And maybe not just someone but a Dominant. When she said it, I heard it differently or something. And as I thought about it - I felt a click inside. It so great :)

I count myself blessed to have heard her talk.

Next topic....I saw good friends tonight. Lisa was there and we discussed going to the Melissa Etheridge Concert. I would love to go but the tickets are $83 and that is something right now I am not sure I have the money for that. :( Even though it would be a lot of fun to go.

I talked to Nick when I came home from the meeting tonight. I was so hyper. I know he was like you are not saying anything that I do not know and he said before I could say it - he said you are not talking D/s you are talking just relationship things. And I was like YES! I am sure he was like okay duh lol But he also understood that in the D/s community - there are many Dominants that don't think on it as a relationship but that basically they want blow jobs on demand and maid service. I know so many Dominants that have left their submissives during crisis and were only there when they wanted things and it was convenient to for them. But Nick is not that way even now.... I mean he is the man I can call at 3am in the morning crying, he is the man that calls me to check on me when I am sick knowing I might not be able to talk and he just talks to let me know he is there for me, he is the man that does not torment me sexually or bdsm wise when I am sick, he is the man that worries about me when I putting myself in a potential situations where a person could hurt me again....I am very lucky. I know that.

Yes, I go back and forth with that I don't think he puts me in his life that much but he does for as much as he can right now with us being so far from each other. f in person, it were to be the same then we will have to have a talk. But for now, I can't be complaining at all because he has been there for me more then most Dominants I have had in person. Sad but true.

I better get to bed. I have to be up fairly early to do some errands and such before heading to Akron for the day.