July 9th

When I was driving home last night about 2:45, I realized it was the 9th. I thought I should come home and write about it being the 9th and what July 9th means to me. But I came home and it slipped my mind totally. The universe trying to tell me not worry about it right now? I think so.

I am thinking about it today but it seems almost like a dream or something I read in book. It does not belong to me. I am not sad like I have been in the past years when I think of it. I am not stressed over it. It just is...part of my life.

Just glad to be here and living life. :)

I had someone ask me this morning after reading some things I wrote if I was bored with life. And I said no way. I love living life and he said that he could tell I love living life but that he felt I was bored with my life right now. I wanted to send him my blogger and say hmm does this look like my life is boring lol My life is chaotic and out of control but yet I still have that calmness in the center and I do not think most people see that I do...except maybe Di, Jackie, and Kam because they have seen me at my worst. I joke with JJ and with Mistress DM that I am neurotic and I am lol but they should have seen me 3 years ago. I was so lost and trapped in my mind. Trapped in my mind 4 years ago is a good way to describe myself. Trapped in a world of nightmares that played 24 hours a day.

No nightmares now.....well not the same type :)

Life even with the heartaches I have right now is good. This chaos in my life is nothing. I look at it and think of life 4 years ago and think wow Life is incredible! I am very lucky!

peace,
danae