danae

Music: Norah Jones (He gave me the CD while there)
Mood: sad that I am not in Colorado with Him

Well I suppose I better write….

I am back in Ohio. I am at Bill and Lisa’s again. Moni picked me up at the airport. She is marvelous…my plane got in early and she was there when I got in…so I was a lucky girl. We went to dinner to catch up.

I spent Saturday night at her place. Sunday Moni made a big turkey dinner and Bill and Lisa came over for dinner. And to pick me up.

Last night I started to get a migraine from hell. I have not had a migraine that was this bad since this summer when I was moving. I was in so much pain that I seriously considered waking Bill and Lisa up to bring me to the ER.

I am doing much better at this moment….still moments of pounding and upset stomach but not anything NEAR what it was last night. I am very thankful for that…

I am sure the headache came on due to me holding off some feelings….sadness from leaving Him. At the airport I stood with Him, before going through security crying…and telling Him I did not want to leave. I was clinging to His shirt like a little girl leaving Daddy…leaving her safe place….leaving the place she is happy. It was not a good sight.

Then down at security I am waiting in line and realize that I left my collar on…it is a chain that padlocks in the front. Right now it is at a length that I can slip it over my head…done purposefully. So, I am waiting in line, slip it over my head and put it in my purse. Of course when my purse goes through they pick up my purse and were looking at the outside of it…I have a leather heart key chain that is a lock…hanging from the outside of my purse. The mechanism in the lock I guess was setting of something on their monitor.

On the way to Colorado, I got pulled a side - selected ahead of time - to be searched. That was fun…I had 2 carry on bags and they both were PACKED and so they had to pull everything out and then put it back lol I am sure they loved that.

I had all my toys of course in my main suitcase, which was checked. So at least they were not pulling out toys (floggers, clamps, paddles and so on) plus vibrators there in front of everyone. : )

I went with 4 bags - 2 carry on’s and 2 checked bags and came back with 3. I left stuff with Him…

Why?

Well if you have not figured it out from what I have written so far…

He and I are going to the next level…

And that is me moving there to be His permanently. *smiles* So I will be moving to Colorado. I am very excited about that of course…to be His and there. But totally on a side note…Colorado is one of my favorite places. I have wanted to move there as long as I can remember.

Good things come to those who wait I guess : )

I am very very happy.

We had some rough spots. The last week was REALLY hard on BOTH of us. We were going through our own insecurities and both were battling them in different ways…that sometimes clashed.

But in the big picture…the positives….how we click so well together in D/s and as well as everyday things…is amazing. He is great man….intelligent, good sense of humor, strong, loving, sadistic and so much more. I am very very luck to have found someone to share everything with….to be able to be me and know I am loved and accepted and wanted. (The wanted part is still a slight insecurity I am trying to work through.)

We had rough spots (as everyone saw who read the journal) while I was there but it was living and it is part of the process as He says in His journal. A lot was left out…what was going on with us.

But in the end it obviously is working out….as I am moving to Colorado to be His willing captive.

Everyone is asking me….soooo what is He like….sooo what did you not write about in the journal.

I did not write about lots, as it just was not feasible with my schedule.

Not that it was a hard schedule…I just was not allowed online much. I had time to check mail and send out pictures to Ayn’s Place but that was about it. Many times it was….”You need to do a blog tonight.”

He is really a good guy. He is all the things I said above….plus handsome, sexy, responsible, serious minded, passionate, compassionate, considerate, a planner….and so much more. If anyone reads His journal you know He is a thinker. He thinks about everything. And I like that…means I don’t have to worry about much as He is thinking it through for the both of us. : )

He and I did a thing where we talked about things we liked, disliked, things that annoyed us about each other and several other questions. It was interesting and very good…I think for both of us…keeps us grounded.

It is late and I am tired…

I want to get this much posted at least. Tomorrow I am going to try to write about my view of a day in a life of being His willing captive. And also just other feelings of being without Him…things that I did not write about while there and so on and so forth lol