danae

Right now I am at Moni's. Monday evening I had dinner with a friend and then Tuesday Moni came home a little earlier and we went to do go something and then went to dinner. Today...I hope to be having lunch with someone to work out some past hurts and resentments, but I have not heard back from him yet. Yesterday....was the 25th of March. I wonder why we remember some dates.....March 25th was the first day Todd contacted me 2 years ago. I did not feel really anything this year that is good. I just remembered. I did not get sad or have really any feelings assocaited with it. Woohoo, right? lol :)

Horoscopes....

mine....LIBRA (Sep 23–Oct 22): You can feel stress heading your way and you take evasive actions, but to no avail. It’s coming your way. This isn’t as big a deal as it might currently seem, but you probably will have to deal with some interpersonal noise as you struggle with decisions about what you’re going to do.

His....SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): Try as you may to hold on to what you have, whatever is now just within your reach may temporarily slip away. You won’t really lose it, though. Things are in a state of transformation and in order to get what you want, you’ll need to loosen your grip and let go of your control. You’re going to have to take a leap of faith. This is about trust.

As I said in a post not too long ago...He and I are passionate and intense people. Life is rollercoaster right now. I am just not sure I want to ride it.....anymore….so I am going to work hard not to ride it.

Now before anyone reads into that…..

That does not in any shape, way or form…mean I am walking away, thinking of it or anything of that sort.

I am just choosing to look at things differently then I have been...I am trusting the rightness.

He wrote in his journal while I was there...” As dw continue to finalize the plan of the next step, My emotions and thoughts have been relaxed – which hasn’t happened too often in My life.. Usually I see one or two red flags which tend to generate enough skepticism to eventually see the end of things.. When dw asked Me if I felt that I know her enough, I got a strange feeling that said: yes, I know you – obviously not everything, but I kept up with her blog, she’s been very forthcoming with a lot of things and even helped in places where I could.

Do I know her??

I feel I do – and even if I don’t, I feel confident that she would be upfront and accommodating with anything I need or want to know.. The larger issue that raises for Me is that I’m trusting again.. The vicious little 5 letter word always seems to nick Me in the ass whenever I go down this road.”

The Fool card from the Osho Zen tarot deck has been what I pulled the start of my journey with Him...I pulled it while there and questioning and I have pulled now again in the last 2 days.

This is what the Fool card respresents in the Osho Zen set....

“Moment to moment and with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind. He carries nothing more then his purity, innocence and trust, symbolized by the white rose in his hand. The pattern on his waistcoat contains the colors of all four elements of the tarot, indicating that the he is in harmony with all that surrounds him. His intuition is functioning at its peak. At this moment the Fool has the support of the Universe to make this jump into the unknown. Adventures await him in the river of life. The card indicates that if you trust your intuition you can’t go wrong. Your actions may appear “foolish” to others or even yourself, if you try to analyze them with a rational mind. But the “zero” place occupied by the Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guide not skeptism and past experience.”

So….I am trusting in the knowing…the knowing that He and I are right for each other.