danae

I am struggling with....surrender and venting. How does a slave get all the icky feelings out and still surrender? How do I express my thoughts, opinions and feelings without it interfering with His agenda? There are times, I can do exactly that. But when it is a subject we disagree on....I don't know HOW to turn those feelings....into submission really. I know right now I am doing as well as I can with it, but how do I take it further. How do I just let them go? I feel me bending...bending where He goes....what He wants and I need to do that to serve and please Him. And when I don't bend how He wants...I try to learn how.....I just don't know how to let them go and just process them into something that helps me serve Him even better.

It is acceptance, but reality of acceptance is so different then just saying, "oh you need to accept." He and I had a conversation where I understood what He was saying, but many things I disagreed with, but I internally went through that process of it is His will, He is my Master. I have faith He will protect me. I trust Him more then I have trusted anyone.

I will give Him it all...I will surrender just as He wants and seeks. It is what I have been searching for all my life.

I just is much harder then it looks like in black and white words on a screen....from a website or a book.

This is not fun...but I need this....I need to serve Him.