danae

I did not sleep well at all....I have been up for several hours because I can't sleep. I woke up so many nightmares. Meditation did not seem to take the edge off my nerves last night. I woke up with a dream at one point....a good dream.....of arriving home.....and getting on my hands and knees....right away....to kiss my Master's feet. I was just so happy to finally be home. He told me at the airport...that this right now is a vacation and that I would come home. The dream was so vivid...the details of His home very clear....I woke up wondering if I was home. And then sad I wasn't.

I am going to Moni's today and for the weekend. I am sure I will post at some point. I know she plans to keep me busy so that my mind does not wander too much. Maybe we can go see the Rodin exhibit. A good friend of Moni's called her to tell me....about it. And I am a big fan of Rodin.

I go into almost a tantric state when I look at art sometimes *blushing* I don't need to touch it and I know tantra is about touching. But this is touching with sight. I feel it....and it consumes me.

I was reading in enslavement a while back....where on this path that basically....how you knew that you were gone. I had a dream of when I was first with Don and that...started happening. It was like the person I had pretended to be for everyone....was gone. That the sheilds and walls of armour I had up....dropped to expose my core essense. And not that was still not a good daughter and good friend. But I was more at peace, I was being who I was.....and.....I guess my focus changed...on the imporant things.

I am not sure I am making any sense this morning.....jumping all over the place....

I am writing more but want to post this for now.