Saturday, December 08, 2007

Q&A: Safewords

Do you use safewords?

Here is a definition of a safeword for those that are interested.

We don't use them. Really we believe in good old fashioned communication. A safeword to me, is not enough to keep a person out of trouble. Communication of exactly what is going on can help along with observation and just checking to see how your partner is doing.

It isn't that I am against them...we just feel good old fashioned communication works better. Before Master when I had a few play partners -- I didn't use a safeword either and opted for communication if something was not going well.

Some have said that if we don't have a safeword -- well he will be able to hack off your toes and my answer to that is even with a safeword he probably would hack off my toes if he was the sort to hack off toes. A safeword isn't going to protect me from someone that would already do something beyond what is okay.

If you have a question please feel free to email me or leave a comment.


  1. I disagree - I had a girl safeword out not long ago. If she'd just said "no" I would have assumed it was part of the action. Instead, when you're in the middle of applying binder clips to sensitive bits and you hear the word 'crayon' - it's so incongruous that it snaps you out of your reverie and into something else. Well, snapped me at least.

  2. No isn't communicating what is wrong for me. No isn't going to get me anywhere. :) I love to say no in resistant play.

    I have to actually say the cuff is cutting into my wrist. I also when floating don't often remember my name so I won't remember what my safeword is but I can usually communicate somehow that the cuff is cutting into my wrist.

    Like I said in the post I am not against them -- if it works for others great. It just doesn't work for us.


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