Monday, December 10, 2007

The First Ornament on the Tree....

Last Monday I got the tree up but we didn't get to decorate it really until this past Saturday. I unpacked the ornaments on Monday. Master and I were watching CSI while I unwrapped...unpacking ornaments from mounds of tissue. I wasn't really paying attention as I did...but I finally looked down...the ornament I had in my hand is very special to me. Tears welled up....the emotions spilled through me and I began to sob. I let it all out...the ornament is my dog's ornament that we got for her 1st Christmas.

She died this last spring. I hadn't seen her for years as she was with my ex-husband but she still was in my heart.

So when Master and I decorated the tree on Saturday night we were just about to get started with ornaments and he handed me the ornament and said it should be the first one on the tree this year. More tears shed of course. But she was the first on the tree.

Here is what I wrote the night I found out she died....

May 3, 2007

When I was married and my husband and I bought a cute little house in March 1994. It was 80 plus years old at that time and needed some work. But we were looking forward to making it "ours." My husband was a pet person. He grew up with dogs. And so when we got a house, I told him I thought we should get a dog. Now at that time, I was not really a pet person. I liked animals...but much like children...I didn't know how to interact with them. I am also a girly girl...licking, drool and such grossed me out. And so I wasn't over joyed with the prospect of getting a dog but loved my husband and knew his really missed having a dog so I wanted him to have one. After living in our house for just a couple months, I woke up one Saturday morning and said, "Let's go to the humane society today." Jim turned 8 years old and bounced up and down. Yes he really did....that was kind of his thing (has a tigger tattoo).

We walked through the first part of this humane society...and it was all the puppies. We didn't see anything really. Then as you moved in further it had older dogs. The part with the puppies also was a part that had like little doors so they could go in and part of the kennel was outside and part inside. I was looking but really I felt it was going to be up to Jim and really we thought we would just look because it was good time to discuss what kind of dog would be good for us. But over all I knew since he was the dog person he was going to have to find a dog that he liked. There were a few older ones he really liked but they were pretty big and he wasn't sure our yard was big enough for such big dogs. So we were heading out...going past the puppy cages again...some had been out when we walked in and as we walked past...

I stopped.

There were 4 puppies in this kennel and they were playing and having so much fun. I stopped. And Jim had kept walking he noticed I wasn't with him. He then turned back and saw me bent down and eye level with the puppies.

One of the workers came over to me right away. She said, "Would you like to see one?" I said, "YES!" I told her which one and Jim at this point is looking at me puzzled but happy. The worker brought the puppy out to me....and handed it to me. I pulled the puppy close to me holding her. The little pup was shaking in my arms but she did a big lick all across my face and I started to giggle. We played with her and held her some more. He said, "I think you found our dog."

We did....she came home with us! Because we had not been prepared to bring home a dog....we really had just thought we will go look to start getting an idea of what would work for our house and such. So we didn't have a collar and leash and she was so tiny so I held her and as soon as the car started moving she peed all over me. Again I remind you I am the girly girl who doesn't really like to get dirty. But here was this little puppy that had stolen my heart and so she was my baby. Jim dropped us off at home and he ran out and got food, leash, toys and all that stuff.

I thought we were going to get a dog for my husband and we came away with a dog for both of us. She captured my heart. My husband traveled quite a bit so she became a good friend for me. She was a great dog from the moment we got her....she caught on to going to the door right away when she needed out, she loved to play ball, she liked to snuggle She was very smart and we had people tell us that all the time how smart she was....she knew words before we taught them to her. She minded really well....she just was a good dog.

When we first got her we decided we weren't having her be on the bed with us to sleep. She could get on the bed but only if invited. And it worked. She would sit on the floor next to the bed and wouldn't come up until invited. As I said Jim traveled and at night I would crawl into bed with a book and she would lay on the floor next to the bed. She always laid on Jim's side so I couldn't really see her and I wanted her close since Jim wasn't there so invited her on the bed. And didn't kick her off. So soon that became a habit of Jim was out of town and I would tell her to get up on the bed. One time Jim came back from traveling and there she was sitting next to the bed at bedtime. And Jim was like lay down. She whined and paced a little bit. And he made a comment like what has got into her. And I kind of looked up and down and all around and he called me on it. And I confessed. He called her up on the bed and soon we had a puppy that laid at the foot of the bed.

There are so many stories I could write....I just loved her so much. She helped me through some dark times by making me get out of bed and making me take care of her. And am so thankful for for finding her and my heart just being captured by her. When I left my husband, it was really hard to leave her but I knew he would take good care of her, I knew how he loved her I left her. I have a picture of her that hangs above my desk as there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

I found out tonight from my ex-mother-in-law that my dog had to be put down. She had a brain tumor and causing her to have so many seizures she became totally unresponsive. She hasn't been in my life for many years but my heart aches as though it was just yesterday when I hugged her close and I will miss her.

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