It is after 4am and I disillusioned with people I guess. I just do not feel their are many people I can rely on. And that is probably, just the feeling at this moment from my mood swings when I have my period. It is not that I do not have people I can call when I REALLY need someone. But I want someone who is there day in and day out for the big things and little things. I want to snuggle up on the couch with.....someone to have dinner with......someone to touch and take a shower with....to go the grocery store with....someone to share housework with lol I know that sounds strange.
Right now I am peeved at lots of things and one thing is that I do everything around here...with the housework. I have let things go the last several weeks because I just get sick of being the only one who does anything. Another thing is that I have wanted to go to a few parties and event and invited a couple different friends to them and they either end up saying no but invite me next time and so I do and they say no again. Which gets old. Or they say I will call you back and say they want to go but never get back to me. It is just getting a little old. And then with Nick I feel I give lots also but that is almost different. Yet, there are people who have reached out in my life and I have not had time for so that makes me feel bad.
Okay side tracked......a movie on called Dangerous Touch. Lou Diamond Philips is in it. And it is not sure the word but some Power and Control going on in it :)
Last night, I had a little bit of fun I went to a party. And it was fun but would have been more fun if I would not have been watching out for the person I went with.
Not sure where else I want to go with this entry. I am just annoyed with life right now. Just tired and want to finally live my life as I have always wanted to....
Tonight someone told me to be patient.....that I am deserving of a strong supportive Master....
So just hanging on until that happens...
peace,
danae
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