Music: none today just have the tv on for background noise
I have been messing with designs this morning - designs for new projects (possible work for me). I have like 4 things going and once so of course not making a lot of progress on any of them but enjoying being creative.
I called my Mom on Wednesday night to ask about my Grandma's surgery. My Grandma is having surgery on Friday and I know my Mom is worrying about it a lot. My Grandma is in her 80's so any surgery for anyone older like her is dangerous, but it had just got the point she needed to have it done. So I am going to be thinking about her lots and sending her prayers and positive thoughts.
I had told my Mom that I was not working the last time I talked to her. She knows since I am sick I am still now working as of yet also. She said she was going to send me money. I told her she did not need to as right now I am okay. Also she already sent money that I did not ask for - for Easter she sent me a check for $100. I was very surprised to get the check. It is going to pay for cell phones and websites this month so that is cool. She asked me how Di is -- as she does often. She knows Di and I are...best friends. And then she asked about Nick as she always does also. I think she likes Nick even now and I have not even met him so she does not know what he is really like - as meeting people in real life is much different then online. It really seems like it to me that Nick is going to be how he is now - in person. *crossing fingers* :)
"To wait for someone else, or to expect someone else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension; and I miss all those moments that pass. They never come back to be experienced again." - Kathleen Tierney Crilly
I totally agree with that quote. I do think there are some things that you should and can accomplish on your own but some things help is needed. I feel that way about my life. That there are things I have accomplished on my own - to get to this point in my life. But now I need help. I also think even if I was in the relationship that would help me move forward I am still going to have to make my own life richer also and keep going forward and growing on my own. Someone described that this quote was talking about not being dependent on others for your happiness and I think that is what it is saying also. And when I say I need help I do not want to depend on that person for my happiness but have them help guide me and support me through some hard things I need to go through, but will need help.
Another quote: "The universe has an eternal hum that runs beyond our individual birth and death. It is a hum that is hard to hear through the louder and closer noise of our daily lives." - Kent Nerburn
Again I agree with this.....The universe is a big place and there is this hum of life that is there you just need to slow down and let go to hear it. Walking through the woods or fields helps me feel it. The mountain, the ground that flowers grow from, the river and waterfalls were all here long before I was and will be here when I am gone and they will continue to hum. When I think of the universe, it helps me let go of things because it makes me see there is a bigger picture out there.
And one more: "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." - Helen Keller
The last line is what I really like...."Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." I take risks in my life and I also play some things safe. But overall my life has been a daring adventure. It has been very interesting. Someone I got the quote from said that he had taken risks but that those risks were all about ego. I was thinking about if my risks have been because of my ego. My thought is no. My life - the risks I take - I do with out thinking about it. My whole life is that way....I just kind of go the direction that feels like I should. Which has not always been a good thing but I am here and living.
I paused writing my blogger entry to write an email to Nick on Affirmative Action. We had been talking about it the other night. I had thoughts on some of what he said come to me right now...why now who knows lol My mind spins out of control most of the time. Nick has very strong political views and it is something him and I have not discussed a lot because I am not as conservative as he is and I know that politics actually is something he knows lots about and I don't. So, I can't get into a "good" debate with him on it. I am very much the type of person that goes with my feelings and if it does not feel right then it not what I believe in. But I do have to say that I have been agreeing with more of what he says then I thought I would. He has also given me a new way to look at things - views I have never thought of, so that is a good thing.
Well, I feel a coughing attack coming on.....
peace,
danae
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