Thursday, May 09, 2002

Asking Why?

Music: a mix of so many different things

Topic: Asking Why?, owned/serving

I am up for a few reasons - 1) I had a nightmare and of course can't get back to sleep. 2) men annoying me in my life 3) I had things to do

In between doing things I need to - I am reading mail....I have like 200 pieces of mail to get through. I am on a couple of big email groups. I had them turned off and recently turned them back on because I am missing the bdsm discussions and I am hoping it will give me inspiration to write a bdsm article.

Anyway one of the lists I am on is a TPE (Total Power Exchange) list. It is a fairly active list and I like it. In a thread going on there seems to be a lot of submissives that are saying they ask "why?" - that they question everything. I do that too. I have been in the past and still told that undermines a Dominant. I know a previous owner is going to have issues with anyone he is involved with when they ask why. Because I asked it so much (to him). And to me I had logical reasons why I asked why. I mean there was time he would have me do something and I would ask why. He would say something like this afternoon I am going to send you to bank. I would ask why because I knew the bank lobby was going to be closed and if he was needing something from the lobby I would want to tell him so I did not waste his time. What I have learned though in situations like that is to say ...why I am asking why. Now I would say the bank lobby is going to be closed this afternoon. And then he could adjust or not adjust according to his plans. It is hard to do that at times because to me it is just quicker and easier to ask why so then if he did not need me to go into the lobby then we don't have to go further and if he did then I can explain.

On another list they are talking about what inspires you to feel owned.

And that phrasing is not making sense to me really. What inspires me to serve I think would make it easier for me to answer. I don't think anything inspires to me to feel owned. I feel owned or I don't.

What inspires me to serve - or to submit.....

-- control and dominance - such as making me accountable, having some structure or making me see my time is not mine anymore, correcting me when I have done things wrong, helping me push through fears and ego things so that I let my will take over (because as I have said before my will is submissive part - it is just fear and ego that get in the way of my will).

But really that isn't it either....it the person. The person inspires me to submit and serve.

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