Convo with Nick

Music: No Music - TV on

Topic: Convo with Nick

I feel like I could write a book tonight. My mind is on extra overload today. My thoughts jump from one thing to the next.

Monday I signed online and was checking something and found out Nick had been online - long story how I knew that but anyway I knew he had. So I opened my email next and there was nothing in my box from him. Kam and I were just about to eat dinner and I started crying as soon as I looked into the email box. I could not stop. I went to the bathroom to get my back together and then ate.

I knew Nick would call tonight.

He did......call. Basically just to say he is alive.

The other day I wrote about I just wanted Nick to say everything is okay after an email I sent him. And after talking to him tonight I am not sure everything is okay. I mean yes he still is calling and yes he wants me but I have the distinct impression my email scared him. Tonight he said something and I said something like - "it is one of the reasons I like you." He said, "You think that scares me" and I said, "no." He then said, "You can't scare me" and I said something like, "oh yes I can." He ended that part of the conversation with, "lets not go there tonight."

I guess the "L" word scared him.