Enslavement

The other night I was out around some friends and they were talking about OLF and they were talking about one speaker that was there. She was 15 when she came to live in the organization of the European type households of Masters/slaves. Anyway one friend said that as he listened to her speak he thought of me. Which at the time I did not say anything as I did not want to interrupt the flow of conversation. But I understand partly why he thought of me but the other part me realized that they view me as extreme in a different way then I do. I view myself extreme because of my D/s beliefs and play. But they view me extreme because they feel I would give up who I am. This person that talked could not even really remember anything of her life before it sounded like - did not even really remember her name before. She was made into this person.

I would not last a day in a place like that! :)

It is a good fantasy.....for me but I would not last a day. 4 years ago put me there and I would have been what and who they wanted. It would have been hard but I would have thrived. But because of the experiences I have went through now....in the last 4 years. I am not the same submissive.

So going to try to explain what I want.....

I want opposites that slide together with all of life in the middle.....

I want TPE where I know that everything and anything I do is a reflection of my Master, yet I want to be able to voice my opinion. In the end if my Master decided the way he stated is still the right way I will obey. It will at times be hard for me and other times I will feel very safe in the knowledge my Master is in control.

I am a control freak. And so I believe I will need to learn some things over again or be "trained" not to have some of the "bad habits" I do. I think a good way to that is the process of enslavement.....

Not sure I have ever posted this here....I am not sure who wrote it.

The Process of Enslavement

A Master takes away his slave's free use of time. Her time no longer belongs to her. She rises in the morning when instructed, and her use of time is at Master's will. She will work at what Master orders when he tells her. If she works outside the home, she is expected back at a certain time, her time belongs to him. When she eats, sleeps, perhaps uses the bathroom, when she does her chores, and when and if she has leisure is not for her to decide. Her time is not her own. If Master calls her to his side, she goes, no matter what she was doing. Her time is not her own, it belongs to Master. When you take away a woman's free use of her time, it no longer belongs to her, but becomes Master's time. I think there is no more powerful psychological experience than that of not owning your own time.

Physicality: The experience of one's body as one's own. A slave's body does not belong to her. She is instructed on how to wear her hair, whether and how to use makeup, when to be clothed, and in what clothing, and when to be naked, how to care for her skin and nails. She can be stripped and inspected at will. She is denied free access to her own pleasure. She may not masturbate without permission. She may not climax without permission. She may not take aspirin for a headache without permission. She has sex when, how, and with whom her Master decides. She must bear whatever pains are inflicted upon her. She has no right to say "no" to the use of her body. After a time, her psychological reality becomes "my body no longer belongs to me." When you take away a woman's free use and handling of her own body, it no longer belongs to her, but becomes Master's property. It is a powerful shock that first moment a woman recognizes that her body is no longer her own.

Privacy: We free beings are used to the right to privacy. We close bathroom doors. We perform our ablutions in private. We would prefer to be left alone when we are ill, perhaps, or cranky, or not looking our best. We hide the evidence of our menses: flush the tampons, wrap the used napkins. We take our deepest fears, our most intense angers, our illogical primitive emotions and hide them from others, lest they turn from us in disgust or fear. We note our dreams in morning and consign them to the dream ether from whence they come; they disturb us and we wish to forget. A slave has no right to any of that privacy. There is no private space in which a slave can hide from Master, either literally or metaphorically. She may not close a bathroom door. If Master wants her to experience her lack of privacy, he may choose to intrude upon her bathroom functions. She may not hide her fears, her angers, her emotions, for when Master intuits she is astir, he will be in her face until she opens them to him. When a woman has no privacy, neither physical nor psychological, she no longer owns her space, her external or internal space. When you take away a woman's privacy, she no longer owns her internal or external space; her very essence belongs to Master.

We can see why this takes time. It takes time because one must repeatedly, consistently, doggedly take ownership of a woman's time and body, and strip her of the right to privacy. And it's no wonder there is resistance along the way: it's not only willfulness that must be addressed, but resistance out of fear when a woman begins to be transformed, when she feels her ownership of her time eroded, her ownership of her body stripped away, her privacy gone. A woman enters this process a free agent, comfortably familiar to herself, and is truly transformed.

She becomes a slave.

After reading this I can see where this one friend and others think that I want to be in that type of restrictive household where I am just a slave. But I want so much more then that.

I want all of the above but I also want a life of laughing often, living passionately and loving deeply.

I want to be able to walk in store shopping with my Master and holding hands and acting silly and just be. I want to be able to snuggle on the couch next to him watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn and just be. In each of those times though I know at any moment the level of protocol can change. I can be in a low level of protocol and just laughing. And then with just a look or movement I will have to be in high protocol.

I gave a speech at SMART 2 years ago about protocols. And that is the best way I know how to describe what I am wanting. Because it seems like different levels of life. Sometimes we are at work and have to do the BS that we need to just get through the Politics of work. But at home we can relax with our families and just be. Same thing with how I want the D/s in my life. I want there to be levels to it where at all times I am me. Just like you are you at work and at home. But there is a different aspects of you brought out for each situation....just like at times I will be laughing, cuddling on the couch with my Master and within a moment...a movement, look or word I know I can be on the floor being nothing but a foot stool to my Master.

So I want it all I want compassion....and affection and I want strict control....

I want to just have vanilla moments and I want hardcore BDSM moments.

I want a D/s lifestyle that is there always but not everyone sees it.....but I know it in my heart and soul.