Daddy/little girl

I have a strong little girl in me….very strong little girl. I really set her aside...in a way...last summer after Todd and I broke up because he touched the little girl in me so….the little girl part was hurt and grieving and then because I felt it best for myself…I ended little girl things with Kam about the same time so that part of me was really hurting. Kam played a big part in bring little girl out. I first experienced her with the Master I had right after I left my husband. We were in a LDR. He coaxed the little girl in me out and I had not even known she was there. I enjoyed being her. With me it is not a role….it is really hard to explain to people. I don’t say okay I am going to play a little girl. There is just this part in me that is a little girl….and when she is touched…emotionally….she comes out.

Nick….I am not sure understands that part of me but accepts it but I don’t know if he will ever want to be “Daddy.“ But he does touch the little girl in me at times when actually I am upset…and he started comforting and trying to “fix” the problem. He does not really try to fix it - he offers solutions for me to fix it…I think that is something Dad’s do right? He often is guiding. And my little girl needs guidance. So that is why he taps into her a little bit.

My father came to mind…just now. I wonder if the little girl in me seeks a Daddy because my Father was not around lots...he traveled for business lots. He was very distant when home. I was with my aunt and uncle lots of weekends because my parents were involved in several organizations that took them to conventions and such. I did not have a "Daddy" really. And then part of me feels that I also have a strong little girl in me because at 4 , 8 and then 18 there were big event in my life that altered the way I look at things….altered the way I grew up. Parts of me stopped growing up.

Just like I wrote back in May that when I close my eyes….I picture myself at 18…whenever I think of me that is what I see in my minds eye.

Okay just a short babble for now.

Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice : )