Can't Sleep

I can't sleep....I am going to be so off tomorrow. And I have things I really need to get done....plus plans for dinner.

Where does a person start to sort out feelings? Monseigneur E told me Wednesday that emotions are like a complex puzzle. And that you need to start with the beginning of the puzzle to get the end. I just am having problems really deciding where the beginning is...at. He helped me see that there were other feelings going on and that it was just easier to focus on the jealously then those other feelings.

Sun is coming up and I have not been to bed.

I have lots of extreme thoughts going on. Those thoughts that don't get shared with others. The thoughts that barely even get this far....as admitting they are there. It goes so hot and cold. The other night after talking to Monseigneur E about visiting I was so excited that I could not come down from that high and did nto go there but then yesterday and today I am feeling it on the edge. But then later in the day...it will probably be gone again. I crave BDSM things more then sex. I crave the power exchange more then I crave romance but I still want romance too.

I am always wanting more and wonder if there will come a time where....I don't feel that way. Where it all just clicks in place and feels right.

One must care about a world one will never see. -- Bertrand Russell