Uneasy

Music: Jennifer Lopez

I am home from the Flea Market and it was a lot of fun. I just had a nice time chatting with the wonderful ladies I went with.....although I was kind of out of it today - as I took some sinus medicine before we went and I think it kind of made me feel like I was in a daze almost.

I signed online and Nick was there....he and I did voice chat. I am in a slaphappy mood as I am tired and he was in an especially Dominant mood and my feisty slaphappy whiny pouting behavior was being shot down LOTS :) Which felt good to me. But it was still playful and I knew in a moments notice with his voice if he really were want me to stop all the way he would tell me....in that tone he gets. Usually I am a good girl...well pretty good.

I can think of one time I was in a sassy mood because I was mad at him. And so instead of talking about it at first, I shot back quips that were not very hmm nice. And he caught it right away but his Dominance was more subtle for that....all he said is that won't happen here. And the tone was serious but not...I mean I could tell he was very serious when he said it but kind of making it joke back to my quip. And so I stopped, started crying because I knew I had disappointed him and then I confessed that I was upset with some things so we talked it out.

I remember the day where I would not have told…just got quiet. I am so glad I don't do that anymore.
He made me feel wanted today.

There is something he has told me I have to do and right now I don't have the money for it. And he has asked me about it a few times and my answer has been as soon as I have the money for it I will do it. I know that he wants this done. But part of me is getting very uneasy with how much he has asked about this. I have never got what he wants me to get to this date - before I met him - before he asked for this - because of some things in my past. But my fears have been pretty much calmed - until lately when he has asked me about it every time we talked. And not sure but it just gives me a little uneasiness. Something I am going to have to address with him...I guess.

I have some work to do and then maybe I will watch a DVD and go to bed. That would be nice. I really need to write a couple emails but I am so tired...and they are all emails that need me to be focused.

I will write more tomorrow....lots of things bobbing around in this head :)