I am on a list that when Jane updates her journal, I am notified by email. I am up because I had a nightmare of course and so now I can't get back to sleep. I opened my email box and saw that Jane had updated her journal so went over to read it. I read the first paragraph and the question she had.....but not the rest of the journal entry yet because I want to play along with this also......Kismet and Jette's June Journal SMACKdown but don't want to be influenced by how she answers the question :)
It started - it looks like - yesterday. I am not going to list my journal with them as I am not into competition, but I do like questions you know :)
So, first question is......How do you think other people perceive you?
The first thing that came to mind was someone telling me last year that I cared too much what people thought of me. I think I do worry about how people perceive me but I really don't think I worry more then anyone else.
I think about it but I don't. I mean there are things I don't post because I don't want to hurt someone’s feelings or what not but there other things that it strains to much in me not to post because it does not feel like I am being true to myself if I don't. But if people like me or not......well, I want people to like me of course but not everyone is going to and those who do not....my attitude is basically...well it is your loss then.
The other thing that pops to my mind that I get told a lot is that people say I am real. I take that as great compliment when people tell me that because it is VERY hard to just be myself at times. There are things I don't like about myself and I basically try to own them and if they bother me a lot well then it is my responsibility to change them.
Emails I get from readers of my journal have said.....a lot of different things. Number one thing that people tend to say...is that I am courageous.
Most of my friends are in the lifestyle and they all think....I believe....that I am kind of out there in my D/s and BDSM beliefs. They think I am opinionated. :) They also think I am kind, compassionate, loyal, honest, passionate and sensual.
Nick thinks I am emotional and a tree hugging liberal and still likes me....imagine that. lol I believe he thinks I am compassionate, loyal and passionate also. And of course he thinks I am real.
My parents I know feel I am a free spirit....that I love life and not things.And that I just go where life kind of carries me.
I can think of a couple people who I know feel I have a holier-then-thou attitude and am selfish. :) And I think because I am true to myself and don't back down on that - it definitely can come across that way.
The people that worked for me, most of them at least, I think would say I am kind - would have gave them the shirt of my back and helped them anyway I could and that was true. Also say that I made them feel safe.
I think overall - people just perceive me as a good person....who is trying to find my dream.
And I just thought of this quote when I wrote the word dream......
"Hope is a waking dream." -- Aristotle
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