New House

I am not even sure what to be writing. I just feel the need to write....

I feel like I have moved into a new house...and I am getting to know where everything is…maybe I was yanked out of my little condo on de`nial. :) I have all these new thoughts going through my head...body. I know that reality with Monseigneur E is going to whatever he wants...whenever he wants. Service is the foundation of this new house….my service........to him...or a future Owner...him that is the first thought of course. How did that happen? Me service…oriented…not that I am perfect Claudia or anyone from the Market Place…but…me thinking of service again….it feels so odd. It is really like I am in a new house.

My head is pounding but I want to be writing and getting out all these things racing through my mind…I want it to slow down.

I am scared….very scared. I am feeling a little alone right now and I want to scream…probably because my mind is racing. Is everything going to be okay? I know the answer....I am just a little scared right now. more then a little but I will survive. *taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly* :)

ps: I am not going to Monseigneur E's until after SMART in August :)