Leo, Gemini and Aquaris

Music: Ottmar Liebert....a collection of his....Aydeeen was the on that got me hooked on him so we are listening to a new one she has

I am in Tennessee :) It was a good flight and everything was just fine except for the fact that I had to take my shoes off lol But that was not a big deal really to me either only that Kam had joked about it before we lefted. It is great to see Sir Laz and Aydeen :) We are already having fun of course. It is just so nice to be here and I feel the stress kind of fading from me. Which Katrina told me the other night just relax while you are there and don't think about things back in Cleveland. I am doing a pretty good job of that LOL

Aydeen and I were talking this morning about Todd and Di yeah lovely topic I know, but I was just trying to fill her on on some things that happened. I was talking about astrology too and that Todd was a Leo. I told her of some of the charts I have done with him in them and I don't know why I did not remember this but Aydeen is a Leo too with the same birthday as Todd. I think I blocked it because...she does not have Leo qualities to me - where Todd does. And then Sir Laz is a Gemini and I forgot that too. Gemini and Leo's are who I am most compatible with...according to one astrology book I have. The other says Aquaris and Gemini.....Morgan was an Aquaris.

Change of topic...I wonder if a person can pull so away things that they turn energies off....and spirituality.....not sure I am phrasing that right. I think there is a belief...a knowing always with a person. But I feel because of stresses...well I feel different but also some similarites to when I was on medication for depression 7 years ago. Where I almost feel numb to what is good for me. I have been really wanting and feeling I should get more in touch with my spiritual side. I want to do work with my chakras and such and do at times. But I don't put the full energy I need to put into it to make it last and feel good. I don't think I am making any sense today. Reason I am thinking about that right now is Aydeen and I have been talking about energy, healing, spiritual things....and so that made me think about the Chakra meditation I like to do and how I don't feel it like I know I should. And I know I don't put my full energy into it and let go of things enough to let myself really FEEL. I don't like feeling right now more then what I do. I put everyone at arms length right now....and not being as true to myself as I should be.

My visit here has started differently that I guess I thought it would. Probably won't write a lot about it....but I was a little shocked. Not that it is a bad thing but I guess I just moved us all to the "friends" category after being here the last time. So....when....more has happened. I was surprised. I think I am still processing some of it. We had fun. It helped me relax LOL I am just not sure how far I can take it.....sexually would be easier then D/s elements for me. Also I did not discuss anything with Nick and even though I don't have "rules," I do discuss things with him first usually, just as a courtesy....because he is the one I pretty much devote myself too. Ugghh as I type that I thought of Monseigneur E. It has always been first thoughts of Nick when I wake in the morning and last thoughts in they day but since pulling away and since admitting some feelings I have for Monseigneur E and Linda my thoughts are mixed during the day now of Nick and them. I always thought of Nick first when I was going to do something...thought of "asking him permission" - even though it is not a requirement....I did it. I stopped doing that a while back I want to say about a month ago. Last night I did not think of that while with Sir Laz and Aydeen - asking - but today I did. But mostly because I know how Nick views them from the things I told him and I don't want him to be shocked...like I was :) I did not ask Nick's permission to go to Monseigneur E's and Linda's and I know that had to have stood out to Nick. And I won't ask permission. Because it is something he can't decided for me. It is my choice. Not that Nick really ever decides. He tells me everytime I have ever asked for anything to do what I need to do - to take care of myself. I know his preference though. I can tell by how he words things. I am babbling....

Aydeen made me a yummmyyyyyy omelette this morning.....red peppers, cheddar cheese and ham! I also had a Sonic Cherry Limeade something I miss from my Kansas days :) I had one of those last night.

I better go get on with my day and see what we are doing here...:)