This mornings conversation with Monseigneur E will probably be leading to a LONG LONG discussion with Nick soon. I am not sure it is one I want to have.
I got very angry this morning with Monseigneur E and even said a few things outloud to the computer....like he could hear...Thank gawd he could not. Being there and saying those things I know would have landed me on the floor hard. I would not have said those things though with him but he would have seen my body language and my facial expressions and known that I was biting my tongue. I am not sure maybe something would have come out but not the things that did here. I said no to him...in that tone that I don't like to. Even as I hit send it.....sparked an image of another time I said no to someone else and had the same feeling. It hurt. It was pain of knowing I was wrong to say no. And then I typed 2 things and backspaced and the 3rd thing that came out I knew he still would not like as I was arguing and told not to argue with him on this thing we were discussing but I said it in a more respectful way...at least then the first 2 things I typed. He is right yestereday he said I have a buffer with typing. I do...I get a buffer to think - in person I won't have the buffer. But I do know having him there before me and knowing...that he will react. He won't let me win....will affect my answers.
Today.....He won again.
He always wins.
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