I am waiting for Aydeen to get back....ran out for a little bit and then we are going to lunch. She mentioned tomorrow going to a Jade Museum which would be interesting :) I am really out of it today. Not sure if it is because of last night's playing or just not sleeping well. I feel groggy and I am almost shaking underneath my skin.
Sir Laz and Aydeen have a sybian...for anyone that does not know what that is....it is a f*cking machine. So we played with that last night. It was cool. We talked about how to achieve orgasms is different for everyone. The machine has an attachment for G-Spot. And I hate my G-Spot touched. It hurts. I have had men that I told that too and of course they always say well the people you are with do it wrong...let me do it to you and they do and of course what happens...I am in pain. Why do men not get that women KNOW their bodies. Sorry for the rant. Anyway, I tried it.....it was interesting. :) It was a very powerful orgasm from it. I did not squirt though and even though I did not want to...I thought I might. I can ejaculate and so the possibility was there.
As I wrote yesterday I am a little shocked of how things have started here...and they have been maintaining that direction. And so I am still in shock even though since it started that way I am not sure why I am shocked still. Last night one thought was of last time I was here....and also of Nick. Since I know his impression of my stay here would be as "friends" sooooooooooooooo not having it be that way I really really feel he should know even though I know he is going to say do what is best for you.
I wanted to talk to him so much last night. I even missed him....like that deep needing where I could have cried with the pain of needing him. I remember when I told Todd I needed him. It was a big thing for me to do. And hard to do. I have been thinking about Todd LOTS lately. And especially here for some reason.
It feels like my life is on the verge of something happening.....I wonder what it is or if it is even there. I feel like I am bracing myself for it. Maybe it is not my life maybe it is affecting lots of people's lives....what it kind of feels like is how I did before 9/11. Strange huh? I feel it heightened right now though. But maybe it is just releasing of my stress that I had all last week. Maybe it is the different kind of stress I am going through here now. Maybe it is just an uneasiesness of feeling out of control with my life at the moment....which would include those last 2 things too :)
I wonder how Thunder in the Mountain's went....I have been thinking of Monseigneur E and Linda and wondering if they had fun. And wondered if Mistress DM had a good time also.
I am thinking of Moni today...sending her positive thoughts and love.
Sorry if my spelling is bad right now.....or worse then usual.....I don't have my nifty little program that someone clued me in on....to be spell checking for me.
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