Chasing Amy

Link: Chasing Amy

2 guys, Holden and Banky, that are friends working together. Holden meets and falls for a girl who is lesbian, Alyssa. They start building a friendship.

BTW there is a whole story with the 2 friends but I am only going to cover the parts I related to.

When they first meet...they find out that the lived near each other growing up.

Holden: Two towns away from each other for years and we had to meet in New York.

Alyssa: Could have been worse-we could have not met at all.

I thought that was cool :)

Early in the movie....when first starting to be friends, he says so then you are virgin and she says no. And then he said so you have had sex with a man. She never answers that question. But gets in a debate with him over what constitutes a virgin. He basically says that if a man has not penetrated a female she is still a virgin. She never answers the question on if she had been with a man...so Holden assumes she has not.

So they become friends. He then falls in love with her and tells her all the reason he loves her. They click. They get each other. And at first she is pissed he told her but then admits she loves him too.

Here is what he says to her when he confesses to her that he loves her...awwwww.....

Holden: I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship -no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that -at least for ten seconds- and try to dwell in it. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who's ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Holden finds out that she has a past...with sexual experimenting...and with men. That she has done lots of things that lots of "normal" people do not do. Such as be with 2 men at once. (I am jaded lol) Anyway, he can't get past her past.

From this point on in the movie, I totally related too.

He has a problem with her past. Another character in the movie says that men need to be Marco Polo....discovering lands first.

It was like Jim was on that movie screen. Wow the thoughts and words that came out of Holden could have come out of Jim.

Anyway he decided to confront her about her past. Here is the dialog....some of it...

Holden: So it's true?

Alyssa: Is that what you want to hear? Is it? Yes, Holden, it is true! In fact everything you heard or dug up on me was probably true! Yeah, I took on two guys at once! You want to hear some gems you might not have unearthed-I took a 26 yr old guy to my senior prom, and then left halfway through to have sex with him and Gwen Turner in the back of a limo! And the girl who got caught in the shower with Miss Moffit, the gym teacher? That was me! Or how about in college when I let Shannon Hamilton videotape us having sex-only to find out the next day that he broadcast it on the campus cable station? They're all true-those and so many more! Didn’t you know? I'm the queen of urban legend!

Holden: How the hell could you do those things?

Alyssa: Easily! Some of it I did out of stupidity, some of it I did out of what I thought was love, but-good or bad-they were my choices, and I'm not making apologies for them now-not to you or anyone! And how dare you try to lay a guilt trip on me about it- in public no less! Who the fuck do you think you are, you judgmental prick!

Holden: How am I supposed to feel about all of this?

Alyssa: How are you supposed to feel about it? Feel whatever the fuck you want about it! The only thing that really matters is how you feel about me.

Holden: I don't know how I feel about you now.

Alyssa: Why? Because I had some sex?

Holden: Some sex?

Alyssa: Yes, Holden-that's all it was some sex! Most of it stupid high school sex, for Christ's sake! Like you never had sex in high school!

Holden: There's a world of fucking difference between typical high school sex and getting fucked by two guys at the same time! They fucking used you!

Alyssa: NO! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn’t wanted it to, do you?! I was an experimental girl, for Christ's sake! Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B-but unlike you, I wasn’t given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we-that's you and I-got together, and suddenly, I was sated. Can't you take some comfort in that? You turned out to be all I was ever looking for-the missing piece in the big fucking puzzle! Look I'm sorry I let you believe that you were the only guy I'd ever been with. I should've been more honest. But it seemed to make you feel special in a way that me telling you over and over again how incredible you are would never get across. Do you mean to tell me that while you have zero problem with me sleeping with half the women in New York city you have some sort of half-assed mealy-mouthed objection to pubescent antics that took place almost 10 years ago? What the fuck is your problem?

Holden: I want us to be something that we can't be.

Alyssa: And what's that?

Holden: A normal couple.

That was Jim. Jim could have said all that.

She is crying so hard after that scene...they walk away from each other. Because he feels they cannot be a normal couple. The pain in that moment. I remember that pain. Knowing he can't accept her.

Holden (Ben's characters name) meets Jay and Silent Bob (who I totally think is yummy and know aydeen is agreeing with me on this one lol). Holden is talking about how he gets visuals in his head of her past doing crazy things and that it just freaks him out. Jim told me the same thing. That he would picture things and then he could not at time touch me for days because of it. Then Silent Bob does his speech....something he does in every movie that they are in lol.

Silent Bob TOTALLY nails it. He gets it. He describes a time where he was in a similar situation with a girl named Amy. He said he weirded out about her past and called her a slut and used, wants to hurt her because he is weirded out. But really is AFRIAD. He is a scared that he will never be enough for her, that she will want more someday, that he will never be on her level because eof the experiences she had. And so he called her names and said the things he did out of fear. He got it. It is not who you love - the past of a person it is how you love that person. That she had those experiences and was searching for a guy like "Bob." But he pushed her away because of his fear. HE later got it. That her past maybe made up her but that it was him that she had been searching for. She had looking for the ONE. The one that we click with. The one that got her. And once she found him nothing else matter. The past is the past. And what mattered was Bob. So by the time he figured this out she was gone...and so he is always chasing Amy now.

Jim could have been the person. The one. But his fears...not only about my past but many other things always stood in our way....messed things up.


peace,
danae