Mirrors

Music: The Verve

He always comes through. He is always there when I need him.

Today has been a pretty icky day. And I wrote Sir Nick an email. I was upset and babbling and within moments of sending it....he messages me.

Mind racing.

I did not sleep last night :(

I hear Mistress DM in my head. "We are mirrors."

Okay....I seem to attract people who project their feelings on to me. Try to turn things around when they feel like crap and blame it on me. And I am thinking okay I am a mirror does that mean I do that to other people? If I do God help me because I would never ever want to make people feel that way.

here is what happened.....The local Dominant who I went out with a month ago messaged me this morning. And basically was hurting and so he needed to blame me. He started the conversation off as he was concerned for me...worried that Nick is "playing me," but that did not last long. I never have lied to the local Dominant. I told him how I felt. I have a journal here that tells everyone how I feel. And yet, I was being told so many things that are not true. He does not get me. Period end of story. If he had got me, he would not have pushed like he did that night we met as I needed a friend. And that was very evident just looking at me.

Anyway, the things he said hurt me, but now that I am sitting here writing what he says really did not bother me. I mean they are nothing compared to grand scheme of things. I think what he said affected me...because I have monthly friend and lack of sleep. So I am sure I am extra sensitive. This past weekend being so busy so that I did not have much sleep....is causing me to crash emotionally and mentally. I wrote Sir Nick right away. And I just kind of babbled. I am not sure I made sense and it was moments later he was messaging me. That made me feel very good and special. He tried to pull me out of the funk. But I am crashing and so it is hard to get out of it. I just need a nap.

Changing topics...Sunday or yesterday I cannot remember when it was....I got an email. Basically someone saying I had something on a website that they wrote and should have given them credit. I put on the post that if someone knew who wrote this to please drop me an email because I would like to get permission to use it and also give credit. I wrote how it touched me and really at the time in my life I got it had a profound effect. Before I had posted on the website, I had done an websearch on it, but it came up with about 4 different people possibly writing it and I had not even gone through all the links it gave me. So, I did not really know which of the 4 were the correct author. The thing that got me about the email is.....that this poem is about enjoying life and making sure you enjoy each moment. And here I get an email that seemed very accusing...and kind of harsh...and that seemed kind of ironic for a person that wrote about enjoying life to it fullest. I know it happens so much on the web...people "stealing" or "borrowing" other peoples words and images. I know that it happens because not only does it happen to me, I have done it. On my websites or email groups I try to always credit the people who did the work. But sometime it is hard to do.

Anyway, right before the email popped up in my box. I had taken my website down. Because I am about to redesign, get it up and fully functional...and at its own domain. I am just not sure what domain I want yet. Any suggestions would be appreciated :)

Well, I need to go get dressed and go see a couple of friend and do some work....

peace,
danae

ps: Di has been out busy with work stuff and I miss her *pout*