Tell the Truth

Music: No Doubt

Diet Coke with Lemon!!!

I love Diet Coke with Lemon. When I got out for dinner or even when I go out and do not drink alcohol then I drink diet coke with lemon. Well, Diet Coke now comes with lemon flavoring :) It is yummy!

This weekend was busy busy busy......which is a good thing in a round about way. It was a good weekend over all. It will be a good thing long term also. I am really tired. I should have come home from doing some work in the morning and went to bed, instead I did work. And now I am probably not going to have any time off until Saturday. My birthday then is going to be the last day I had off.

I wanted to go to SMART this past weekend but I was just too busy. I have not been to SMART since right after Todd broke up with me. I met someone there that I used to write about in my journal a lot...."Sir." Anyway, I miss going. The other group I go to is going to be next weekend. And it should prove to be interesting.

This weekend my dreams of Sir Nick were so intense.....some very vanilla, some very sexual, some very BDSM oriented....some soft some dark. It was such a mixture. All interesting....all good.

Tonight he popped on for a little bit. Good to hear from him since my Birthday was the last time. When I go more then 2 or 3 days without word I get antsy. Sad thing is I am getting more used to it. But what would normally happen in this situation is my feelings would lesson. And I was thinking about this last week....my feelings have not changed at all. They have deepened I believe. I open up to him easily.

Tonight was one of those times. It was hard to tell him the truth, but just shrugging it off and not telling him the truth would have hurt more in the big picture. I could have just said I am fine. But he asked...and so I had to tell him the truth. And the truth was I was not doing good at that point in our conversation. He really threw me for a loop. And I am still not sure how to feel about the whole thing if I break it up and think about the things said. But over-all it turned out okay so that is good thing. I am not sure if he read me this time but he handled it all very "smoothly".....like he was prepared for the answer that I said to him. I think though maybe I threw him a little when I told him that I was so upset that I had been crying. It just shocked me and pms might have something else to do with it lol Anyway, we are okay. And it is okay.

I miss him...and wish tonight that I could crawl in bed with him and just snuggle into his arms. To be held by him. To feel the warmth of his skin next to mine....to hear his heart beating.....that is what I wish.....

good night...

peace,
danae