Stupid

Music: Janet Jackson: All of you

From Todd: "I want you in sub space 24/7 for a time" from one of our conversations. I was reading through it and lots of things pissed me off in it but this I passed by and was reading on and all of sudden my mind was like...go back go back...and I reread it. That is what he did....

I do not think he knew what he was doing or how to control it to make it work positively. But my mind was in a constant state of mush and confusion. I did not know what was up and down, what was pleasure or pain, or what was good or bad.

He had no business doing what he was with me..or anyone...God, please do not let him do this to anyone else. The same I am says he cares about me..... "I care a great deal about you, and I am anxious to see you get your life together..get your head straight." F**K F**K F**K.....Like he would know what is like to have his life together or head on straight? I just want to hit him and then cry..... I want him to tell me he is sorry. Stupid Stupid Stupid...Like he cares about anyone but himself.

Oh I am sure he will love reading this journal. I reread this about 10 times before deciding to post it.

Good night...

peace,
danae