Who Is....

I just was sitting thinking that people are probably reading this journal and wondering who people are.....

Well, I am going to do a who is list....this list is not in any certain order....first part of list is people who I mention quite a bit...daily to weekly.

I am sure you will see throughout this I do not say cared or loved. I say love and care no matter when they were in my life because I never just "get over" feelings. I love for a lifetime. I love unconditionally. I care for always

Di – She is my best friend. We are real life friends. I meet her here in Cleveland – 3 years ago Nov 6th (her Birthday). She has been with me through all the good and bad times. I remember her bring me to the lake the first time, I remember her standing in my kitchen while I cried going through one of the most horrible times in my life and she was there for me. And I remember us being so excited talking about one of my love interests right after she met him. She is a true friend and I am very lucky to have her in my life. Di is a wonderful Mom and PERSON. She is very pretty and sexy (even though she will deny it). She is smart, funny and compassionate. She is person who has many talents and lots of potential that she does not see, yet. I hope that someday she lets someone in enough to show her all that is there. She is going through a lot and sometimes I do not feel like I am there for her enough.

Kam – I am not sure how to describe Kam. He is a very good man. I live with him but we are not in long term relationship…I guess is one way to describe it. We are best friends, occasional lovers; he at times is my Daddy (not biological). He was my Master for 2 years, but are not in a M/s relationship anymore. In this journal I refer to him as Kam now, but in the past he has been known as Daddy. He is very wise about D/s. He sees a bigger picture (more then a lot of Dominants that I have come across). He looks to see how things will affect the submissive, because if you damage the submissive then you will not have a toy to play with. I love him because he is strong in his beliefs, values, ethics, integrity and honor.

Mistress DM – hmmm what do I say about her…She is very wise. She has been here for me a lot. She guides me and helps me when things are jumbled up for me. She seems to know what I am thinking...even when I am having trouble explaining it or getting it out. She can get in my head easily. She is a female Dominant and probably knows more about how my submissive mindset works then anyone. She has incredible way of expressing herself – she can take a hard topics or issue and say it with just the *right* words. I will ramble and vent then afterwards she can sum up the heart of the issue in one line that is very meaningful, but so clear and concise. Anyway I respect her very much and appreciate that she is in my life. I love her and hope that we will always be….together.

Morgan - she was the love of my life. She and I were involved when I was 18/19. I met her when I went away to college. She was incredible! She was talented and full of passion....I have so much I want to say about her and so much I could say about her but right now it is mine and all to personal. She is not alive. She died while I was involved with her when I was 19. And I will always love her.

Nick - Sir Nick....I am not sure what to say about him. I refer to him in my journal mostly as Sir Nick but sometimes as Sir and sometimes-just Nick. He is someone I have not met real life yet. He is intelligent, strong, funny, and very special to me. I care about him a lot. He is silly and just Nick and he is Sir - sadistic and Dominant, and he at times feels like Master - compelling me to submit and guiding me to see things I need to see. He is kind and compassionate as well as evil and sadistic. He seems to want to understand me. Which is oh so very important. He gets it most of the time which is also very important. We started talking August 9th online. We chatted about 4 to 6 hours a day for a month and then his work became very busy and he has not had much time to chat as of late. He told me that day that he knew it would start getting busy that I was not going to be forgotten and that he cared for me. That meant a lot and I keep trying to hang on to that to get through this hard time. I hope to be able to meet him soon. But it will just depend on what goes on with his work.

There are people in my life who are good friends and I care about....that I mention sometimes but not daily...or even weekly....

A - a local Dominant who is married and I am friends with online only so far. He can dominate me and I have fun fighting him lol He is fun. He is like my “down time” at times....just to have fun and chat with. I have thought about him being a good play partner. But I am not sure that is anything I need to add to my life right now.

Danny - Someone from my old world in Kansas. He is someone I care about deeply. If I would have gotten involved with him as more then friends, I would have fallen in love with him. I remember calling him to tell him that I was not able to deal with life anymore. He was very good to me and for me. He made me feel like a woman again without even touching me physically touching me.

Honeyrose – I love her very much. I always will and hope that we are always a part of each other lives. She is beautiful. She had to move out of the US for her job. I went to see her in March and April 2001. That is when things changed for us. I still care for her and love her and if she called me and said I need you I would be there for her, always. She is married to GZ and has a son.

Jackie – she is someone that I love. We were in a relationship. She was also involved with Kam. She was his "little girl" and my sister and girlfriend. If it would have been a different time in our lives, it might have worked. She has hurt me a lot. And I am not even sure how to deal with the last thing that was done. Not sure I am going to. I miss her and wished that things could be different. I wanted things to forward with us. I will always love her and care about her.

Jim - my ex husband. hmm what should I say about him? LOL We met when I was 18. We dated for 6 years and were marred for 7 years. No children. Just our dog. I love Jim. We just basically are not together because we want different things from life. I miss him at times but also remember why I left.

JJ - she is a feisty sexy redhead. She is a good friend...sometime think of her as more then a "friend." I think she is great, we have fun together, and she has been there for me several times when I really needed her. She is good at her hobby of analyzing people.

Lisa - a friend who I have met through one of the local BDSM groups. She is submissive. Her and my beliefs - how we are as submissive are very similar. I really like her and her husband's relationship and hope to have that level - of intimacy and trust with someone.

Moni – I meet Moni because she came up to introduce herself to me after I gave a speech at SMART on living as a 24/7 slave. I saw in her eyes then that we would understand each other sometimes without even speaking words. She is submissive and also Tops. I have seen her grow as person, submissive and now Top in the time I have known her and I really am very proud of all the work she does to keep moving forward – growing and learning more about herself. She is very non- judgmental and loves easily (just like me). She feels the pain of her friends and feels their joys too. She is empathetic. She has also been here for me a lot when I needed her love, strength, and support. Moni is engaged to be married to Michael.

Sir Laz and aydeen - they are a couple I went to visit over a year ago and spent some time with....to see how it would work. They wanted to explore poly. They are GREAT and I had a very nice time. I learned a lot about myself by staying with them and I am very grateful for all they did for me and that we still keep in touch. Not as much as I would like at times but I think of them OFTEN.

Sir Rob - He and I knew each other a year ago. We were at that time moving towards getting to know each other and maybe him owning me. He then disappeared. I now know why and suspected why then. He came back into my life shortly after I felt I wanted to devote my time to Nick. Sir Rob and I have similar interests D/s wise and vanilla. We still chat. I care about him a lot. And probably could say a lot more about him, but will leave it at that for now.

SJ – she is a wonderful woman/mom/friend/submissive. She is very spiritual. She is an intuitive, sensitive, sensual, passionate woman. She listens and sees. She is the type of person that when she does not see the path she is suppose to go she just trusts that it will be shown to her. She has strength, faith and courage that are amazing. She is someone I care about...even when we are not in close contact.

SM - he is someone I met right after Todd and I broke up. He is a Dominant. He and I clicked. We have LOTS of the same desires. He seems to understand me. But timing…of course has been off. When Sir Nick and I first started talking he asked me about his competition…at that time even though SM had given me “work is very busy and I do not have time to pursue things with you” speech. SM still was Nick’s competition.

Todd - He is a man that I was involved with who was an illusion. He has also been known as Aslan in my journal. There is lots I could say about him, but I am not going to. I loved him….unfortunately he did not care for me or love me. His loss.

Other people that I have talked about in my journal and some I still do....at times….

Dale - my first Dominant after I left my marriage. Todd actually had things about him that reminded me of Dale. He was strict and caring also. But must more sadistic then Todd, well maybe not, but Dale accepted that he was sadistic and needed it and Todd was scared of it.

Don - He is someone I was involved with when I was 18. He was very cruel and sadistic. I am lucky I am alive. I was owned by him and in a BDSM relationship with him but I did not even know there was a name for what we were doing. He also did things that he should not have......but I look back at that time very differently then I did 7 years ago. I have turned a negative into a positive....look at I am who I am today and exploring life as submissive because of him.

E - someone I have known for a little over a year. She is very much like me and it is scary lol She is very sexy!

M - someone I know that I kind of saw every once in a while. We are still friends. He is cool and I had some fun with him.

Sir - He is a Dominant that I was involved with from Feb to July (I think). We played together and helped me see that I wanted to be submissive still. He is someone that I cared about a lot.

I am lucky to have so many good friends!

These people are people who have or do impact my life. Some more then others...some that have left their mark on me forever. I am the person I am because of my experiences and part of the experiences I have in my life.....are from the people involved in my life.

It has been a pretty good life :)

peace,
danae